Death of a Lifestyle
On Tuesday, July 14, 2020 at approximately 10:00 am, I died. Not literally, I just got laid off from QS/1 Data Systems (RedSail Technologies), but a part of me was certainly gone at that point.
The Search
Immediately after I received news that I was terminated, I started updating all of the channels that I might find work through. I changed all of my work information on my resume to past tense, I altered my LinkedIn profile to reflect that I was looking for work, and I started messaging friends in the industry to ask if they were hiring, or knew of anyone who was. What better way to distract myself from losing my old job, than to hit the ground running with my search for a new job? I ordered a new suit from a cheap supplier and I started looking.
Admittedly, my situation was a lot better than I originally thought. The company did offer severance pay based on seniority, so I had about 4 months of income before I absolutely had to have another job. They gave us a period of about 2 weeks after the termination notice before we were separated from the company, so I had some time to wrap up some loose ends and burn through my flex spending. Among other things, they gave us access to outplacement services. I ignored that option at first, but ended up using it to great effect as I’ll explain later.
I wanted to stay local if possible. Unfortunately, upstate South Carolina isn’t exactly a hub of technology. There aren’t a lot of software engineering opportunities available, and I was competing with literally everybody else who also got laid off, nearly 70 people. My first choices were all nearby, but I was prepared to relocate if necessary, or make a longer commute. I knew that if I were willing to move, I would find a job without a doubt.
The Potential
One of the earliest leads that I came across, an old classmate from USC Upstate was currently working at a lending institution in Spartanburg, and a guy on his team was actively working his two week notice. It sounded like the perfect opportunity. They probably wanted someone to fill his spot as quickly as possible, and I already had a good reputation with a few people in the company. I sent him my resume and told him I’d keep in touch.
The recruiter for that company called me a few days later. We talked about the opportunity, and it seemed like I was a good fit for the job. He proceeded to send me the application link, and said that he would see about setting up a video interview. After the shock of losing my job, this call was a welcome confidence boost.
Soon after, he called me back with details about the video interview. They sent me a coding exercise to complete. I spoke with the friend who I originally informed me of the job, and he gave me some information about each of the people I would be interviewing with. He didn’t give me any tips on how to complete the exercise, but he did say that I should write the best code that I could manage. The goal was to make it look like a production application. It wasn’t a difficult problem to solve, but the way that I chose to write the code would give them an idea of how I think about and design programs.
I knocked the coding exercise out late into a Friday evening and sent it to the recruiter. My interview was scheduled for the following Monday. I threw on my suit, although the pants were hilariously long on me. The video interview would only show me from the chest up, and I shouldn’t have to walk anywhere. With my insider information, I figured it would go just fine. At the beginning, it did. Meeting with the director and other authorities over the engineer position I was applying for, I established a personal connection and impressed them with my knowledge of the company.
Everything went better than expected until I interviewed with the development team itself. I knew my development skills were a little rusty, but I didn’t realize just how dated they were. The team asked several questions that I was slightly familiar with, and several questions that I didn’t know at all. The confidence that I gained through earlier stages of the interview just came crashing down around me.
After the final interview session, I was spent. Emotionally and mentally, I was just checked out. I hadn’t managed to build a personal connection with the dev team, and the technology questions were overwhelming. If the hiring decision was left to specifically the engineers, I figured I probably wouldn’t get the offer. However, I assumed that I had made enough of an impact with the managers. Perhaps they could vouch for the fact that I could connect personally with the team, and I was confident in my ability to learn the technology once I got hired on.
The Rejection
A few days later, I received a phone call from QS/1, indicating that I could come and pick my stuff up from my old desk. Originally, I was hoping for a job offer before I even got my things, so that I could rub it in the people who let me go. Even if I didn’t get a formal job offer, though, I could confidently say that I had an interview that looked promising.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I got a call from the recruiter. How about that timing? Maybe I could still brag about the job offer to my old coworkers. I answered and we started talking. Very early in the conversation, though, I would tell that things were going sour. It wasn’t long before I received the “Unfortunately…” line, informing me that I would no longer be considered for the position.
My stomach just dropped. I was certain my reputation would have earned the job offer for me. I had even stopped looking for other jobs, since this one seemed like such a done deal. Getting a formal confirmation that no, I didn’t get the job, completely took the wind out of my sails. “You really hit it off with everyone,” the recruiter said, “the technology just isn’t there.”
He went on to explain how the immediate superior over the position really liked me, and how he made specifically sure that the recruiter would call me personally, rather than just sending a generic rejection email. He offered some career advice, suggesting that I rebrand myself as more of an entry level developer for modern languages, since my skills really weren’t relevant in most environments anymore.
I asked if they had any entry level positions available, and the recruiter explained how they mostly pulled entry positions from nearby colleges, and how the salary was probably much lower than what I could potentially get elsewhere. That’s all well and good, but right now I just need a job. I am truly unemployed, and the severance pay is trickling away.
Obviously, my mental state going into the building to clean out my cube suffered greatly after this call. I hadn’t worried about it before, since there was the promise of a potential job offer on the horizon. After the call, I didn’t even have that. Not only did I lack a new job to look forward to, but then I was cleaning out everything from my old job.
The drive home was filled with a lot of retrospective soul searching. I made a pact to never let myself get so comfortable and unprepared again. Even if I had to stay current with projects outside of my day job, I wouldn’t fall into the trap of complacency. It didn’t help my current situation, but it did help me stay motivated for the future. I started looking for jobs again, albeit with much less momentum.
The Impostor
With no current interviews, no conversations with recruiters, and no immediate leads on any jobs, I started getting depressed. Impostor syndrome started hitting me hard. I was nearing 30 years old, and my entire career was spent working in decades old languages that almost nobody uses now.
Even in my undergrad, I got a lot of help from my classmates. My skills weren’t relevant now, but I questioned if they were ever relevant. Rebranding myself as entry level was an option, but could I even get one of those jobs? People fresh out of school were at least more familiar with the theory, and they had worked on projects in modern architectures. Sure, I had some experience in corporate environments, but how much does that really count for?
I had charisma, but that doesn’t mean I can code. Sure, I should be able to score an interview, but what about the inevitable technical questions that come up? What about other coding exercises? Should I look into another industry and give up software engineering completely?
For a few weeks, I went through probably one of the darkest times in my entire life. I failed as a software developer, I failed as a provider for my family, and I failed to apparently answer just a few simple questions about technology. What else would I fail at?
The whole drive home, I was euphoric. Both phone interviews went solid, I seemed to hit it off with the team when we finally met in person, and HR gave me the unofficial notice that I would be getting a formal offer soon. Everything seemed to have turned around for me. I might actually have a job soon. The only thing left was some administrative red tape… or so I thought.
Where it Started (and Ended)
I was shook. I had dedicated 8 years of my life, my entire career, to this single company. QS/1 was my professional home. I started as an intern during my last year of college, got hired on full time after I graduated, and I stayed there. At some point, I imagined I would probably be employed elsewhere, but I figured it would be on my own terms, and in my own time. For the time, though, I was comfortable. Comfort is a big deal to me.
Looking back, this was naive of me. I should have known that I might be terminated, and I should have prepared myself for that possibility. Sure, there were several rounds of layoffs at the Q, but it was always somebody else. I hated it for them, but I was sure they would all go on to find gainful employment elsewhere. That wasn’t something I had to worry about… until I did.
When I was terminated, I had done very little to make myself marketable in a competitive software development industry. That was always a job for later. I knew that QS/1 used very dated technology, but I was good enough that the company benefited from keeping me on board. I could freshen up my skills later when I wanted to actively search for a job.
I entered the job market unexpectedly, with skills that made me tremendously outdated, during a pandemic where jobs in any industry were hard to come by. I was afraid. I was worried. I was angry. I hadn’t prepared myself for such an expected event, and I was frustrated with myself. In any case, I had to get another job.
I was shook. I had dedicated 8 years of my life, my entire career, to this single company. QS/1 was my professional home. I started as an intern during my last year of college, got hired on full time after I graduated, and I stayed there. At some point, I imagined I would probably be employed elsewhere, but I figured it would be on my own terms, and in my own time. For the time, though, I was comfortable. Comfort is a big deal to me.
Looking back, this was naive of me. I should have known that I might be terminated, and I should have prepared myself for that possibility. Sure, there were several rounds of layoffs at the Q, but it was always somebody else. I hated it for them, but I was sure they would all go on to find gainful employment elsewhere. That wasn’t something I had to worry about… until I did.
When I was terminated, I had done very little to make myself marketable in a competitive software development industry. That was always a job for later. I knew that QS/1 used very dated technology, but I was good enough that the company benefited from keeping me on board. I could freshen up my skills later when I wanted to actively search for a job.
I entered the job market unexpectedly, with skills that made me tremendously outdated, during a pandemic where jobs in any industry were hard to come by. I was afraid. I was worried. I was angry. I hadn’t prepared myself for such an expected event, and I was frustrated with myself. In any case, I had to get another job.
The Search
Immediately after I received news that I was terminated, I started updating all of the channels that I might find work through. I changed all of my work information on my resume to past tense, I altered my LinkedIn profile to reflect that I was looking for work, and I started messaging friends in the industry to ask if they were hiring, or knew of anyone who was. What better way to distract myself from losing my old job, than to hit the ground running with my search for a new job? I ordered a new suit from a cheap supplier and I started looking.
Admittedly, my situation was a lot better than I originally thought. The company did offer severance pay based on seniority, so I had about 4 months of income before I absolutely had to have another job. They gave us a period of about 2 weeks after the termination notice before we were separated from the company, so I had some time to wrap up some loose ends and burn through my flex spending. Among other things, they gave us access to outplacement services. I ignored that option at first, but ended up using it to great effect as I’ll explain later.
I wanted to stay local if possible. Unfortunately, upstate South Carolina isn’t exactly a hub of technology. There aren’t a lot of software engineering opportunities available, and I was competing with literally everybody else who also got laid off, nearly 70 people. My first choices were all nearby, but I was prepared to relocate if necessary, or make a longer commute. I knew that if I were willing to move, I would find a job without a doubt.
The Potential
One of the earliest leads that I came across, an old classmate from USC Upstate was currently working at a lending institution in Spartanburg, and a guy on his team was actively working his two week notice. It sounded like the perfect opportunity. They probably wanted someone to fill his spot as quickly as possible, and I already had a good reputation with a few people in the company. I sent him my resume and told him I’d keep in touch.
The recruiter for that company called me a few days later. We talked about the opportunity, and it seemed like I was a good fit for the job. He proceeded to send me the application link, and said that he would see about setting up a video interview. After the shock of losing my job, this call was a welcome confidence boost.
Soon after, he called me back with details about the video interview. They sent me a coding exercise to complete. I spoke with the friend who I originally informed me of the job, and he gave me some information about each of the people I would be interviewing with. He didn’t give me any tips on how to complete the exercise, but he did say that I should write the best code that I could manage. The goal was to make it look like a production application. It wasn’t a difficult problem to solve, but the way that I chose to write the code would give them an idea of how I think about and design programs.
I knocked the coding exercise out late into a Friday evening and sent it to the recruiter. My interview was scheduled for the following Monday. I threw on my suit, although the pants were hilariously long on me. The video interview would only show me from the chest up, and I shouldn’t have to walk anywhere. With my insider information, I figured it would go just fine. At the beginning, it did. Meeting with the director and other authorities over the engineer position I was applying for, I established a personal connection and impressed them with my knowledge of the company.
Everything went better than expected until I interviewed with the development team itself. I knew my development skills were a little rusty, but I didn’t realize just how dated they were. The team asked several questions that I was slightly familiar with, and several questions that I didn’t know at all. The confidence that I gained through earlier stages of the interview just came crashing down around me.
After the final interview session, I was spent. Emotionally and mentally, I was just checked out. I hadn’t managed to build a personal connection with the dev team, and the technology questions were overwhelming. If the hiring decision was left to specifically the engineers, I figured I probably wouldn’t get the offer. However, I assumed that I had made enough of an impact with the managers. Perhaps they could vouch for the fact that I could connect personally with the team, and I was confident in my ability to learn the technology once I got hired on.
The Rejection
A few days later, I received a phone call from QS/1, indicating that I could come and pick my stuff up from my old desk. Originally, I was hoping for a job offer before I even got my things, so that I could rub it in the people who let me go. Even if I didn’t get a formal job offer, though, I could confidently say that I had an interview that looked promising.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I got a call from the recruiter. How about that timing? Maybe I could still brag about the job offer to my old coworkers. I answered and we started talking. Very early in the conversation, though, I would tell that things were going sour. It wasn’t long before I received the “Unfortunately…” line, informing me that I would no longer be considered for the position.
My stomach just dropped. I was certain my reputation would have earned the job offer for me. I had even stopped looking for other jobs, since this one seemed like such a done deal. Getting a formal confirmation that no, I didn’t get the job, completely took the wind out of my sails. “You really hit it off with everyone,” the recruiter said, “the technology just isn’t there.”
He went on to explain how the immediate superior over the position really liked me, and how he made specifically sure that the recruiter would call me personally, rather than just sending a generic rejection email. He offered some career advice, suggesting that I rebrand myself as more of an entry level developer for modern languages, since my skills really weren’t relevant in most environments anymore.
I asked if they had any entry level positions available, and the recruiter explained how they mostly pulled entry positions from nearby colleges, and how the salary was probably much lower than what I could potentially get elsewhere. That’s all well and good, but right now I just need a job. I am truly unemployed, and the severance pay is trickling away.
Obviously, my mental state going into the building to clean out my cube suffered greatly after this call. I hadn’t worried about it before, since there was the promise of a potential job offer on the horizon. After the call, I didn’t even have that. Not only did I lack a new job to look forward to, but then I was cleaning out everything from my old job.
The drive home was filled with a lot of retrospective soul searching. I made a pact to never let myself get so comfortable and unprepared again. Even if I had to stay current with projects outside of my day job, I wouldn’t fall into the trap of complacency. It didn’t help my current situation, but it did help me stay motivated for the future. I started looking for jobs again, albeit with much less momentum.
The Impostor
With no current interviews, no conversations with recruiters, and no immediate leads on any jobs, I started getting depressed. Impostor syndrome started hitting me hard. I was nearing 30 years old, and my entire career was spent working in decades old languages that almost nobody uses now.
Even in my undergrad, I got a lot of help from my classmates. My skills weren’t relevant now, but I questioned if they were ever relevant. Rebranding myself as entry level was an option, but could I even get one of those jobs? People fresh out of school were at least more familiar with the theory, and they had worked on projects in modern architectures. Sure, I had some experience in corporate environments, but how much does that really count for?
I had charisma, but that doesn’t mean I can code. Sure, I should be able to score an interview, but what about the inevitable technical questions that come up? What about other coding exercises? Should I look into another industry and give up software engineering completely?
For a few weeks, I went through probably one of the darkest times in my entire life. I failed as a software developer, I failed as a provider for my family, and I failed to apparently answer just a few simple questions about technology. What else would I fail at?
The Light
Eventually, on July 30th, I got a message on LinkedIn from Ethan, a recruiter at System Logistics - Vertique. Admittedly, I had gotten a lot of messages from recruiters, and I at least entertained them. Most of the time, it didn’t pan out, but I didn’t have a job and there wasn’t anything else I could actively do for my career. May as well see what they have to say, I figured.
“System Logistics,” though? That sounds like a made up business name if I ever heard of one. Super generic, it doesn’t tell you anything about what the company does. Logistics as an industry spans a huge range of specific details. That could be anything. Regardless, all he wanted was a phone call.
When Ethan called, I gave him the same spill that everyone else received. Software developer of 8 years, worked in the healthcare industry, laid off after another company purchased us, looking for the next step in my career. We spoke for a few minutes, he asked me some questions about my background, and he explained some things about System Logistics.
After a little while, he told me I sounded like a good fit for the team. He would schedule a call with the development manager and we could move forward with the process. I wasn’t convinced it would pan out, especially since the job was located near Asheville, but it helped my mental state to have some sort of active interview process.
While waiting for the call with the manager over development, I contacted Linda, the outplacement service contractor. She explained that her services focused on giving me the skills and techniques to get a job in my field. Her company did not offer recruitment or connections to specific employers, they just helped me perform better with the jobs that I might find on my own. Either way, it sounded like a service that I could benefit from, so we started working through some of the things I should know to prepare myself for the upcoming interview.
On August 4th, I spoke with Ethan, as well as Ben and Mitch. Ben was the manager over the team, and Mitch was another engineer that I would be working with. They asked several questions about me, both personal and professional. They also asked a few technical questions, but most of them went pretty well. I knew about several of them, and most of the others were at least concepts I was familiar with.
Fortunately, System Logistics was a company that didn’t have much overlap with the software engineering industry in general. What they did was very specific, and any new employees had to be trained on their own specific software. I explained that my background was very similar. Not only was healthcare a very particular industry, but the projects that I worked on were all unique. I had a knack for picking up new concepts or projects with every little training or documentation. If they needed me to learn something, I assured them I could pick it up very quickly.
Everything about the call seemed to go really well, significantly better than that first interview. I didn’t feel defeated or mentally exhausted. I felt positive, even if I still wasn’t really sure about what the company did, nor was I keen to drive to Asheville every day. They said that they would be in touch, and I genuinely did expect to hear from them soon.
The next day, August 5th, I got a message from Ethan, saying that they wanted me to come up and meet the team if I was available tomorrow. In my experience, “meeting the team” is a good sign, even if it is just another interview in disguise. I obviously accepted, though I was slightly bemused. I still hadn’t seen any of these people, either through a video call or in person.
I called Linda and gave her the good news. She gave me a few more tips, and agreed that this was another stage of the interview process. Of all the services that RedSail provided, I was beginning to appreciate Linda more and more.
On August 6th, I donned my now tailored suit, and I drove up to Asheville. I had printed several copies of my resume to bring with me, but I nearly left them on my kitchen table. Fortunately, my wife reminded me and I grabbed them up. I’ve heard that it reflects well on the candidate to seem prepared, and I wanted to look like the best candidate possible.
When I arrived, Ethan gave me a tour of the facility. After the tour, I went to a private office with Ben and Mitch, along with Matt, another member of the team. Wasting no time with the charm, I asked if they would like a copy of my resume. Since I hadn’t yet spoken with Matt, he had no knowledge of my background, and appreciated the information. Already, I felt like I was knocking this interview out of the park.
They asked a few more questions, some personal and some technical. The personal questions, I answered honestly. The technical questions, I gave my best understanding for each of them. I was pretty confident about most of them, and the team seemed to like the way I explained my answers. Like taking candy from a baby.
As Ethan showed me to the door, I pulled a leaf from Linda’s book. I asked, “In your personal opinion, do you think I’m a good fit for this position?” I wasn’t asking him to share any information with me that I shouldn’t be privy to. I didn’t expect an offer from him, or any sort of official response from System Logistics. I just wanted to know if he as an employee thought I was right for the job.
He paused for a moment and didn’t change his neutral expression. Oh man, here it comes, he doesn’t think I’ll get the offer.
He checked around us to make sure nobody was in the lobby, and looked back through the window behind him to see if anyone was coming. He isn’t supposed to tell me, I’m sure, but he wants to let me down easy.
He looked back at me again and paused. Then, he smiled and he started nodding. I almost couldn’t contain myself. I expected a noncommittal probably or probably not. The way he checked around, I’m sure he was giving me information that I wasn’t supposed to know. And the way it seemed to me, he was nearly certain I would get the offer.
I responded with, “Excellent. Good to hear.” What else could I say? You’re a lifesaver, Ethan. Hot dog, I’m so glad I won’t be homeless. I’m so glad you’re willing to take in a poor sap with outdated experience and give me a chance. Nope, just note that I like that answer. Let’s call it a day. I took a selfie by the sign at the front door in celebration, and posted it on Facebook.
Eventually, on July 30th, I got a message on LinkedIn from Ethan, a recruiter at System Logistics - Vertique. Admittedly, I had gotten a lot of messages from recruiters, and I at least entertained them. Most of the time, it didn’t pan out, but I didn’t have a job and there wasn’t anything else I could actively do for my career. May as well see what they have to say, I figured.
“System Logistics,” though? That sounds like a made up business name if I ever heard of one. Super generic, it doesn’t tell you anything about what the company does. Logistics as an industry spans a huge range of specific details. That could be anything. Regardless, all he wanted was a phone call.
When Ethan called, I gave him the same spill that everyone else received. Software developer of 8 years, worked in the healthcare industry, laid off after another company purchased us, looking for the next step in my career. We spoke for a few minutes, he asked me some questions about my background, and he explained some things about System Logistics.
After a little while, he told me I sounded like a good fit for the team. He would schedule a call with the development manager and we could move forward with the process. I wasn’t convinced it would pan out, especially since the job was located near Asheville, but it helped my mental state to have some sort of active interview process.
While waiting for the call with the manager over development, I contacted Linda, the outplacement service contractor. She explained that her services focused on giving me the skills and techniques to get a job in my field. Her company did not offer recruitment or connections to specific employers, they just helped me perform better with the jobs that I might find on my own. Either way, it sounded like a service that I could benefit from, so we started working through some of the things I should know to prepare myself for the upcoming interview.
On August 4th, I spoke with Ethan, as well as Ben and Mitch. Ben was the manager over the team, and Mitch was another engineer that I would be working with. They asked several questions about me, both personal and professional. They also asked a few technical questions, but most of them went pretty well. I knew about several of them, and most of the others were at least concepts I was familiar with.
Fortunately, System Logistics was a company that didn’t have much overlap with the software engineering industry in general. What they did was very specific, and any new employees had to be trained on their own specific software. I explained that my background was very similar. Not only was healthcare a very particular industry, but the projects that I worked on were all unique. I had a knack for picking up new concepts or projects with every little training or documentation. If they needed me to learn something, I assured them I could pick it up very quickly.
Everything about the call seemed to go really well, significantly better than that first interview. I didn’t feel defeated or mentally exhausted. I felt positive, even if I still wasn’t really sure about what the company did, nor was I keen to drive to Asheville every day. They said that they would be in touch, and I genuinely did expect to hear from them soon.
The next day, August 5th, I got a message from Ethan, saying that they wanted me to come up and meet the team if I was available tomorrow. In my experience, “meeting the team” is a good sign, even if it is just another interview in disguise. I obviously accepted, though I was slightly bemused. I still hadn’t seen any of these people, either through a video call or in person.
I called Linda and gave her the good news. She gave me a few more tips, and agreed that this was another stage of the interview process. Of all the services that RedSail provided, I was beginning to appreciate Linda more and more.
On August 6th, I donned my now tailored suit, and I drove up to Asheville. I had printed several copies of my resume to bring with me, but I nearly left them on my kitchen table. Fortunately, my wife reminded me and I grabbed them up. I’ve heard that it reflects well on the candidate to seem prepared, and I wanted to look like the best candidate possible.
When I arrived, Ethan gave me a tour of the facility. After the tour, I went to a private office with Ben and Mitch, along with Matt, another member of the team. Wasting no time with the charm, I asked if they would like a copy of my resume. Since I hadn’t yet spoken with Matt, he had no knowledge of my background, and appreciated the information. Already, I felt like I was knocking this interview out of the park.
They asked a few more questions, some personal and some technical. The personal questions, I answered honestly. The technical questions, I gave my best understanding for each of them. I was pretty confident about most of them, and the team seemed to like the way I explained my answers. Like taking candy from a baby.
As Ethan showed me to the door, I pulled a leaf from Linda’s book. I asked, “In your personal opinion, do you think I’m a good fit for this position?” I wasn’t asking him to share any information with me that I shouldn’t be privy to. I didn’t expect an offer from him, or any sort of official response from System Logistics. I just wanted to know if he as an employee thought I was right for the job.
He paused for a moment and didn’t change his neutral expression. Oh man, here it comes, he doesn’t think I’ll get the offer.
He checked around us to make sure nobody was in the lobby, and looked back through the window behind him to see if anyone was coming. He isn’t supposed to tell me, I’m sure, but he wants to let me down easy.
He looked back at me again and paused. Then, he smiled and he started nodding. I almost couldn’t contain myself. I expected a noncommittal probably or probably not. The way he checked around, I’m sure he was giving me information that I wasn’t supposed to know. And the way it seemed to me, he was nearly certain I would get the offer.
I responded with, “Excellent. Good to hear.” What else could I say? You’re a lifesaver, Ethan. Hot dog, I’m so glad I won’t be homeless. I’m so glad you’re willing to take in a poor sap with outdated experience and give me a chance. Nope, just note that I like that answer. Let’s call it a day. I took a selfie by the sign at the front door in celebration, and posted it on Facebook.
The whole drive home, I was euphoric. Both phone interviews went solid, I seemed to hit it off with the team when we finally met in person, and HR gave me the unofficial notice that I would be getting a formal offer soon. Everything seemed to have turned around for me. I might actually have a job soon. The only thing left was some administrative red tape… or so I thought.
The Dark
My interview was on Thursday. I figured I should get an offer pretty soon. Maybe as early as Friday, but definitely by Monday. If everyone was already sure I was right for the team, why waste time?
I didn’t hear anything Friday, but I anticipated that. Come Monday, I still didn’t get any correspondence from the company. I really thought they would get back to me within 2 business days, but maybe I was just being optimistic. Still nothing to worry about, I just wanted an answer for certain.
When I didn’t hear anything on Tuesday, I started to worry. Did I get my hopes up for nothing? Was the confidence projected from System Logistics just smoke and mirrors? Do they do that for all their candidate interviews? I had stopped looking for job openings, but I began questioning if I should have continued putting in for more.
I emailed Linda and asked for her advice. She came through like a champ, and explained how this sort of delay was perfectly normal. My top priority was getting a job, as it possibly should be. Their priority may not be bringing in a new employee. Especially in this case, since they were growing the team instead of replacing a vital member, they may not be in any hurry. She told me to be patient, and call them maybe Thursday or Friday to ask for an update.
On Wednesday, August 12th, I got a LinkedIn message from Ethan, asking if I had time for a call tomorrow. Finally, that’s what I was hoping for. I told him that I was available all day, and he could call as early as he wanted to. I assumed that this was the call that would tell me whether I was receiving an offer or not.
I had trouble sleeping that night, and I was a bundle of nerves when I woke up the next morning. Whether or not I received an offer from System Logistics would change the trajectory of my life for potentially years to come. Several weeks out of work was driving me to desperation, and I wanted to get back into the workforce as quickly as possible. For those of you who criticize people on unemployment for being lazy and not wanting a job, try getting laid off and searching for work in a slow market. Trust me, it isn’t fun.
While I waited for the call, I analyzed the situation. Surely, if they were turning me down, they would just send me an email. I got plenty of Dear John letters from other employers. I was no stranger to that. The first rejection call was an anomaly, something unusual. I sincerely doubted I was out of the running if they were supposed to be calling me.
When I finally received the call, Ethan explained that he was just checking in. He wanted to see if I had offers from any other companies, or if I was still interested in the position at System Logistics. Of course I’m still interested, that’s the job that I’m banking on. If you were just checking in, couldn’t you have said that in the message?
He explained that they had some administrative stuff to handle on their end, and suggested that he would be in contact with me again early next week. At this point, I resolved to let the situation run its course. If I got the offer, awesome. If not, there were plenty of other jobs available. I would continue searching tentatively, and try to have some leads in the event that I don’t get the job with System Logistics.
I wondered what “early next week” even meant. Should I be expecting a call at 8 on Monday morning? I guess it could be up until about noon on Wednesday and still be “early” in the week. I wasn’t sure what to think, and I wasn’t going to let myself worry about it anyway.
Monday came and went, as did Tuesday. I was becoming tired of the situation. Either you want me with the company or you don’t. I’m fairly certain everybody there knows the status of that offer, I’m the only one in the dark. Just tell me, I’ll wait for whatever arbitrary start date if you want me to. I just want to know.
On Wednesday, August 19th, I started composing an email to Ethan around noon. Lunch on Wednesday is “middle of the week” by definition. “Early” had already passed. I should have already received a call or something. Literally as I’m writing the email, I get a call from an area code in NC. What kind of irony would that be, if I got a call from the company as I’m trying to send them an email for an update?
Sure enough, it was Cathy, Ethan’s manager in HR. Surely, this would be the phone call where I got the offer or they let me know that they picked somebody else. We spoke for a while without any mention of an offer, which was strange. She asked if I had a chance to look over their benefits package, which I never received. She explained how their PTO system worked, and what sort of benefits they offer. I was very confused, since this felt like a conversation for a new hire, but I still hadn’t been offered the position.
Finally, she told me that they wanted to extend an offer. Thank goodness, that was such an ordeal. I told her that I would certainly accept it, and we negotiated my start date. After an eternity of back and forth (though it was admittedly only three weeks), I got the job.
My interview was on Thursday. I figured I should get an offer pretty soon. Maybe as early as Friday, but definitely by Monday. If everyone was already sure I was right for the team, why waste time?
I didn’t hear anything Friday, but I anticipated that. Come Monday, I still didn’t get any correspondence from the company. I really thought they would get back to me within 2 business days, but maybe I was just being optimistic. Still nothing to worry about, I just wanted an answer for certain.
When I didn’t hear anything on Tuesday, I started to worry. Did I get my hopes up for nothing? Was the confidence projected from System Logistics just smoke and mirrors? Do they do that for all their candidate interviews? I had stopped looking for job openings, but I began questioning if I should have continued putting in for more.
I emailed Linda and asked for her advice. She came through like a champ, and explained how this sort of delay was perfectly normal. My top priority was getting a job, as it possibly should be. Their priority may not be bringing in a new employee. Especially in this case, since they were growing the team instead of replacing a vital member, they may not be in any hurry. She told me to be patient, and call them maybe Thursday or Friday to ask for an update.
On Wednesday, August 12th, I got a LinkedIn message from Ethan, asking if I had time for a call tomorrow. Finally, that’s what I was hoping for. I told him that I was available all day, and he could call as early as he wanted to. I assumed that this was the call that would tell me whether I was receiving an offer or not.
I had trouble sleeping that night, and I was a bundle of nerves when I woke up the next morning. Whether or not I received an offer from System Logistics would change the trajectory of my life for potentially years to come. Several weeks out of work was driving me to desperation, and I wanted to get back into the workforce as quickly as possible. For those of you who criticize people on unemployment for being lazy and not wanting a job, try getting laid off and searching for work in a slow market. Trust me, it isn’t fun.
While I waited for the call, I analyzed the situation. Surely, if they were turning me down, they would just send me an email. I got plenty of Dear John letters from other employers. I was no stranger to that. The first rejection call was an anomaly, something unusual. I sincerely doubted I was out of the running if they were supposed to be calling me.
When I finally received the call, Ethan explained that he was just checking in. He wanted to see if I had offers from any other companies, or if I was still interested in the position at System Logistics. Of course I’m still interested, that’s the job that I’m banking on. If you were just checking in, couldn’t you have said that in the message?
He explained that they had some administrative stuff to handle on their end, and suggested that he would be in contact with me again early next week. At this point, I resolved to let the situation run its course. If I got the offer, awesome. If not, there were plenty of other jobs available. I would continue searching tentatively, and try to have some leads in the event that I don’t get the job with System Logistics.
I wondered what “early next week” even meant. Should I be expecting a call at 8 on Monday morning? I guess it could be up until about noon on Wednesday and still be “early” in the week. I wasn’t sure what to think, and I wasn’t going to let myself worry about it anyway.
Monday came and went, as did Tuesday. I was becoming tired of the situation. Either you want me with the company or you don’t. I’m fairly certain everybody there knows the status of that offer, I’m the only one in the dark. Just tell me, I’ll wait for whatever arbitrary start date if you want me to. I just want to know.
On Wednesday, August 19th, I started composing an email to Ethan around noon. Lunch on Wednesday is “middle of the week” by definition. “Early” had already passed. I should have already received a call or something. Literally as I’m writing the email, I get a call from an area code in NC. What kind of irony would that be, if I got a call from the company as I’m trying to send them an email for an update?
Sure enough, it was Cathy, Ethan’s manager in HR. Surely, this would be the phone call where I got the offer or they let me know that they picked somebody else. We spoke for a while without any mention of an offer, which was strange. She asked if I had a chance to look over their benefits package, which I never received. She explained how their PTO system worked, and what sort of benefits they offer. I was very confused, since this felt like a conversation for a new hire, but I still hadn’t been offered the position.
Finally, she told me that they wanted to extend an offer. Thank goodness, that was such an ordeal. I told her that I would certainly accept it, and we negotiated my start date. After an eternity of back and forth (though it was admittedly only three weeks), I got the job.
The Next Chapter
I started work at System Logistics on August 25th. In the few weeks since then, I am already completely happy with my decision. The people are awesome, the work environment is great, the architectures are modern, and the drive really isn’t that bad.
Although the interim was tremendously stressful, I think it was a huge improvement for my career. I got a substantial pay bump over my old job at QS/1, I’m still receiving the severance pay, and now I have the opportunity to refresh my skills and make myself more marketable in the industry. I certainly look forward to spending some time with System Logistics, but I refuse to put myself at the mercy of a specific company again.
Oddly enough, I got another job offer on my second day of work. I had a phone interview with a bank out of Charlotte soon after that great interview with System Logistics. I thought I already had another job in the bag, so I wasn’t worried about it in the slightest. The phone call with the bank seemed to go pretty rough, but I didn’t care. Soon after, I got a call from the bank recruiter, informing me that they gave me the green light for the next steps.
After the phone interview, I received a link to a coding assessment. It was an hour long, with three problems in C# and one in SQL. I knew I would fail the SQL assessment if I even got to it, and I wasn’t sure how I would do on the rest of the test, so I started with the easiest C# assignment. I knocked out two of those with 100% accuracy, and got a good bit of code on the third problem before I ran out of time.
I expected that plenty of other candidates probably did better than me, and I certainly thought the fact that I never touched the SQL test would put me out of the running entirely. By some strange miracle, I did well enough, and they offered me the job. The pay was slightly higher, but the commute was further, and I hated to leave a company that I just started working for. In the end, I decided to decline the offer, and I feel confident that I made the right decision. In any case, the fact that I did manage to get another offer just days later tells me that my impostor syndrome was just in my head. I may have dated skills right now, but I’m still a solid developer.
Now that I’m weeks into a new job and I can look back on the past few months with an objective viewpoint, it’s easy to see how things would work out in the end. At the time, though, it was rough. I was afraid, for both myself and my family. I still am afraid for the dozens of other people who got laid off along with me.
My advice, though, is to hang in there. What you’re going through is temporary, and you will find a solution to the problem. It may be a bumpy ride, and the next step might not be the place where you want to finish, but it’s just another point in the journey. Keep your eyes on the prize, and you’ll definitely reach it.
This year has been wild, and I’ll be glad for 2020 to be over, but I think we’ll all be better off once the growing pains subside. I’m more positive now, and I’m more prepared for whatever may come my way. I’m hoping that any of you going through struggles use that experience to better yourself.
Hold tight, y’all. We almost there.
I started work at System Logistics on August 25th. In the few weeks since then, I am already completely happy with my decision. The people are awesome, the work environment is great, the architectures are modern, and the drive really isn’t that bad.
Although the interim was tremendously stressful, I think it was a huge improvement for my career. I got a substantial pay bump over my old job at QS/1, I’m still receiving the severance pay, and now I have the opportunity to refresh my skills and make myself more marketable in the industry. I certainly look forward to spending some time with System Logistics, but I refuse to put myself at the mercy of a specific company again.
Oddly enough, I got another job offer on my second day of work. I had a phone interview with a bank out of Charlotte soon after that great interview with System Logistics. I thought I already had another job in the bag, so I wasn’t worried about it in the slightest. The phone call with the bank seemed to go pretty rough, but I didn’t care. Soon after, I got a call from the bank recruiter, informing me that they gave me the green light for the next steps.
After the phone interview, I received a link to a coding assessment. It was an hour long, with three problems in C# and one in SQL. I knew I would fail the SQL assessment if I even got to it, and I wasn’t sure how I would do on the rest of the test, so I started with the easiest C# assignment. I knocked out two of those with 100% accuracy, and got a good bit of code on the third problem before I ran out of time.
I expected that plenty of other candidates probably did better than me, and I certainly thought the fact that I never touched the SQL test would put me out of the running entirely. By some strange miracle, I did well enough, and they offered me the job. The pay was slightly higher, but the commute was further, and I hated to leave a company that I just started working for. In the end, I decided to decline the offer, and I feel confident that I made the right decision. In any case, the fact that I did manage to get another offer just days later tells me that my impostor syndrome was just in my head. I may have dated skills right now, but I’m still a solid developer.
Now that I’m weeks into a new job and I can look back on the past few months with an objective viewpoint, it’s easy to see how things would work out in the end. At the time, though, it was rough. I was afraid, for both myself and my family. I still am afraid for the dozens of other people who got laid off along with me.
My advice, though, is to hang in there. What you’re going through is temporary, and you will find a solution to the problem. It may be a bumpy ride, and the next step might not be the place where you want to finish, but it’s just another point in the journey. Keep your eyes on the prize, and you’ll definitely reach it.
This year has been wild, and I’ll be glad for 2020 to be over, but I think we’ll all be better off once the growing pains subside. I’m more positive now, and I’m more prepared for whatever may come my way. I’m hoping that any of you going through struggles use that experience to better yourself.
Hold tight, y’all. We almost there.
Comments
Post a Comment